This article looks at the issue of self-comparative thoughts. In an earlier post, we talked about how doing a cleanup of your junk drawer, closet or your office is a good thing. Don’t forget the other areas of your life. What habits and thoughts have you been clinging onto that no longer serve you? Let them go.
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I wonder how many times you didn’t set a goal because internally, you felt you’d never achieve it anyway. How many times have you seen a well-to-do person and thought how it would be nice to be them? The “Us vs. Them” mentality is an unhealthy path to follow.
That mindset subconsciously feeds the message that wealth is for “Someone else”. How many times have you avoided looking into a mirror because you felt you might not like the person you’d see looking back at you?
The world is full of people that want to compare your value to those around them. Let me tell you:
The world is full of knuckleheads, but they don’t drive you or define you.
The world is also full of wonderful, loving, supportive people. Hang out with them and your internal dialog will naturally become positive and empowering.
Some time ago, I had a coaching client in California. She is a talented woman, full of creativity. Even though she is a successful movie producer, she allowed her self-comparative thoughts to take root and taint her own self view.
In her professional environment, people around them live by comparison. You know the old saying, “Keeping up with the Jones’”? That community weighs their own value or success by having the high-end car, home and 7+ figure bank account.
While all those things are good, they won’t serve a person if having them brings them to the gutter of comparison. During our sessions together, she began to understand that successful living begins with her own self-value and the ability to value others — NOT what someone else says to feed their own ego.
She recognized too much energy was focused on other people’s over-inflated self-view, and it subsequently minimized her ability to keep ahead of her own productions. She realized that others trying to elevate themselves by feeding self-comparative thoughts to others was a losing game. Today, she’s no longer hamstrung by the “Good ole boy” network that tried to define her and hold her down.
There are people without the skills or the will to build a reputation and expertise. Because of their own unwillingness to put forth effort with integrity, they find it easy to tear down others to build an appearance of proficiency.
The selfish people in the world work hard to implant self-comparative thoughts in others to breed doubt and destroy confidence. Be sure of this: You don’t have to carry their garbage. around.
Get Rid of Self-Comparative Thoughts
Those thoughts don’t serve you. As a person that lives by faith, I know this: God does not make mistakes and you are not a mistake. You are a well-planned work of art. Comparative thoughts only hold you back if you let them.
Instead, Fire those thoughts. Give them permission to leave. Sure we all can change and adapt and tweak our lives for the better. But starting today, begin focusing on who you will be because you don’t have room for the negative thoughts tossed your way by others.
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About the Author
Anthony M. Davis, BCH, CTACC, MSCA
Mr. Davis is a Personal Leadership and Development Coach, Stress Coach and a Board Certified Hypnotherapist, Located in Charlottesville, VA.
He challenges and builds his client’s confident awareness to create positive change in their lives. According to Mr. Davis, “My clients pay me good money for good results. They don’t need a baby-sitter; they need a Coach that gets results.”
As a Board Certified Hypnotherapist, he helps clients that faced years of abuse or personal trauma. Today, they live positive lives, enjoy healthy relationships and engage in exciting careers. Using his Transformative Life Centering processes, he helps them realize their inner worth and regain their lives.
His clients include everyday people with everyday challenges, celebrities and business professionals from all over the U.S. He prides himself with the reward of life change in his clients. For more information, visit The Center for Personal Leadership and Development or Healing Hypnosis