Knowing the Reason for Our Thoughts & Feelings Gives You an Advantage.
Understanding what is true or not seems challenging in our current environment. In a fast-paced world, what we know as truth, and why we believe it, could very well be what I call trigger thoughts. We express our beliefs and behaviors through triggered reactions of prior experiences.
What a Person Carries Inside Them
We never know what a person brings with them in their day-to-day lives. That’s also true in life or within places of business or employment. We know that John or Sally are professionals and perform their jobs well, but knowing their internal struggles is not so clear. How are they affected by world events and what happens when it pulls their emotional triggers?
When we are in the grocery store, or heaven forbid in traffic, someone comes along, or something happens and the incident turns negative. Did we plan to get into such a mess? Absolutely not. An emotional trigger gets pulled, we reach into our subconscious database and pull from prior experiences. The thoughts and feelings subconsciously learned from history affects how a person trusts… or not.
The problem with believing everything as it was in history will be the same tomorrow, eradicates the power of trust — we automatically expect the negative motives of others. Subconsciously drawing on our past can also prevent a person from achieving goals in their life.
I grew up in an environment where allowing myself to trust opened the door to physical harm later. The damaging effects of those violent and abusive years created a hair-spring trigger, always expecting the worst. Even today, if I don’t stay aware and take a moment to think something through, I can go there.
The Root of the Problem
The underlying subconscious beliefs and feelings that occur in our day-to-day lives happens with you too.
Why do I know that? As a Board Certified Hypnotist and Coach, I’ve worked with female abuse victims for years. They would always arrive afraid, trapped by unhealthy habits and often struggling with a string of health challenges. While this article won’t address the details of that work, the point is, today’s problems and trust issues, are linked to historical experiences.
Study Your Interactions
In an earlier time, I served as a federal investigator and trained interrogator; I refocused my own underlying reticence to trust by studying each person.
- What did they say, or not?
- What were their actions, or lack of action?
- What agendas drove their behavior?
When you make a choice to set emotions aside to study a situation, that’s a healthier approach. If a person’s motives really are negative, it will probably become apparent.
Social Factors Swaying the Perception
Our world and the messages we receive today seem constantly tied to a political or moral agenda. I fear as a nation we are near a tipping point where trust fades and becomes a byproduct of failed interpersonal communication.
- What happens when a perceived truth is so uncomfortable that it fosters a negative or irrational behavior?
- How do we as a society survive if we automatically negate tangible facts or beliefs from an opposing party?
We’re already seeing the disintegration of effective communication on social media when people block each other with predetermined notions that another person is not worth listening to. Instead, they respond in negative ways. If communication occurs at all, it often becomes a series of personal attacks or mistruths. The attacker hides behind their computer and tosses something onto the Twitter-sphere or some other social media platform. All that does is attract a herd of offended sheep looking for a fight.
Seek Dialogue or Move on
When confronted by that kind of immature behavior, remember that you are not obligated to catch someone’s garbage just because someone tosses it your way. When possible, try to engage in a dialogue to understand the underlying perceptions. If they continue a negative attack, you gave them a chance. Let them stew in their own soup; they’ll fade away.
I know that sounds harsh. As a Coach and Therapist, I’m committed to my clients reaching healthy and positive levels of success based upon living in the real world.
Consider Opposing Views
If we as a nation truly want to create goodness in this world, we can benefit by considering the opposing beliefs of others. With effective and respectful dialogue, we create an open-minded approach. Through that mindset, we develop and grow and produce a culture that might change the global order.
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⭐️ About the Author
Anthony M. Davis is a Leadership, Success & Stress Coach, Board Certified Therapist, Top-100 International Travel Photographer. As a Coach, he helps people just like you overcome obstacles & reach their goals. His free book, “Keys to Your Success” is available now.